i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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