he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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