Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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