How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
