I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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