Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
