so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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