even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
