So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the day after is always just damage control
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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