i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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