VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Even my vagina gasped.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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