I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
