Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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