i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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