Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
