i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
