stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
