I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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