My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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