yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
