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Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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