just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
