I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
