He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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