I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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