have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
