brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
