At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
