I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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