yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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