Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
