I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He uses pillows to masturbate.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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