they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
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