it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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