His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
