Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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