His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
