all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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