yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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