it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
BRING THE BAGELS
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
