But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
