I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
