Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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