i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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