I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize