hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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