I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
