just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
