i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
