I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
