I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
