So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
