I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
