just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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