Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
