just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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