we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
