make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
A bitchslap is in order.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
