so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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