ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize