So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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