I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
