Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
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