I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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