Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
