ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
