you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
