96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
