So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize