The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
